October 31, 2005
Celebrity demands at hotels they stay in
Mariah Carey “Suites fitted out with gold faucets.” Also, “new toilet seat must be installed before her arrival.” Also, “her own bed linens are flown in advance.” Also, “on the two obligatory DVD players, only her own videos may be played.” Also, she and her dog both bathe “in expensive French mineral water.”
Jennifer Lopez: “Her suite must be painted and furnished completely in white. Also lilies and roses, her favorite flowers, white. Romantic candles placed everywhere — white, of course — ideally with the Paris perfume, Diptyque. Room temperature set at exactly 25.5 degrees Celsius. And her staff must also be accommodated. The diva travels with an entourage of up to 100.”
Justin Timberlake : Demands the entire floor, private fitness studio, extra-large stereo unit and, since like Eminem he’s undoubtedly a voracious reader, Nintendo PlayStation.
Quoting the booklet exactly: “The floor’s air conditioning filters must be changed on his arrival. He insists all door handles be disinfected every few hours.” And, since the man obviously worships with The Barbra Streisand Bible, “the hotel staff may under no circumstances address him.”
Rod Stewart: “Cannot tolerate any light in the room for his afternoon nap.” Sends “a special ‘darkening team’ to the hotel prior to his visit, whose job it is to seal all cracks of light.”
The package
This will consume about 15 minutes of your time. What’s in it? Can you figure it out? It’s a tad nerve wracking. I figured it out in time but made the wrong choice at the end. The Package.
October 30, 2005
Deer goes trick-or-treating
Elizabeth Laatsch had to reassure the operator her call was no Halloween prank.
A deer came through her backyard Friday with a pumpkin stuck on its head.
At least, it looked like a pumpkin to the South Middleton Township woman.
“It sounds very far-fetched,” says Laatsch, who moved into the Stonehedge Drive house with husband, Jerry, about a month ago. Her husband was on the back porch about 11:15 a.m. when something walked through the yard.
“He did not know what it was at first,” Laatsch says. “He called out to me.”
She looked outside and saw the deer moving slowly, unable to see where it was going.
The animal disappeared into a wooded area and gully. Forty-five minutes later, the deer meandered back and Laatsch took its picture.
Third call in 3 days
Concerned for its welfare, she called the Pennsylvania Game Commission and found out she was the third person to report the animal in as many days.
The first call came on Wednesday, says Eric Horsh, wildlife conservation officer for Cumberland County. And Horsh came within 20 yards of capturing the deer in the vicinity of Rockledge Drive and Old School Road in South Middleton.
The deer seems to have a large brown or gold plastic ball stuck on its head — a lawn ornament or possibly a Halloween decoration, Horsh says.
“From the size, it may be a yearling.” He adds, “I’ve never seen anything like it” in five years as a wildlife conservation officer.
The second sighting was Thursday behind East Gate apartment complex. Again, Horsh responded, with no luck.
Every report is within the same general area behind Kmart along Walnut Bottom Road.
Can’t eat or drink
While the deer appeared healthy, Horsh is concerned about its ability to eat or drink with the ball over its head. A healthy deer could survive without water for up to a week.
Horsh suspects the deer came across the ball, poked its head in to investigate, but could not pull out.
He hopes to get close enough to grab or rope the deer. A tranquilizer gun is not an option since the drug would make the deer unfit for human consumption for up to 30 days should it be harvested legally during hunting season.
Upon receiving the call from Laatsch Friday, Horsh followed the deer until its tracks intermingled with those of other deer.
Horsh is the only conservation officer on duty and it can take up to 45 minutes to reach the area of the sighting. By that time, the animal has moved on.
Now this is a great idea
Revolving outlets
The fine folks at 360electrical have come up with an electrical outlet that will allow you to plug 2 transformers into it easily. Just plug it in and rotate it so the other outlet is accessible.
Eye-Eye Sir
I heard about having eyes in the back of your head, but this is overdoing it.
Famous last words
”I’ve never felt better.” — Douglas Fairbanks.
”Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.” — Oscar Wilde (1854—1900), Irish-born British dramatist. As he lay dying in a drab Paris bedroom.
”Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something…” — Pancho Villa (1877—1923) clutching a comrade.
”Oh my, it’s very beautiful over there.” — Thomas Edison (1847—1931).
”My work is done. Why wait ?” — George Eastman (1854—1932), US inventor and industrialist, suicide note.
”If this is dying, I don’t think much of it.” — Lytton Strachey (1880—1932), British writer.
”Die ? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.” — John Barrymore (1882—1942), US actor.
”Shoot me in the chest !” — Benito Mussolini ( -1944).
”Go away… I’m alright.” — H. G. Wells (1866—1946).
”I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.” — W. C. Fields (1880—1946), US comedian. Said during his last illness.
”Seventeen whiskeys. A record, I think.” — Dylan Thomas (1914-53), Welsh poet.
”I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.” — Humphrey Bogart (1899—1957).
”God bless… God damn.” — James Thurber (1894—1961), US humorist.
”I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” — Winston Churchill (1874—1965).
”Damn it… Don’t you dare ask God to help me.” — Joan Crawford ( -77), actress, to her housekeeper who had begun to pray aloud.
”Why yes — a bulletproof vest.” — James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad.
”I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” — Thomas J. Grasso, executed 1995.
”Hey guys, watch this !” — Todd Poller (2001), who tried to swallow a live perch.
